My Story: Part 2

If you have not read My Story, you might want to start here.





Once I had gained the opportunity to work from home for 50% of my full-time job, I was determined not to mess it up.  I became even more of a model employee.  I responded to emails promptly, completed tasks ahead of schedule, and was available online as often as possible during the day for my coworkers.  Even though I could have *technically* done a lot of the work in the evenings, I was diligent about staying close to my computer during the day so that I was never more than an instant message away.

I did this for two reasons:

First, I did not want to lose the privilege of working from home.  I wanted to prove that I could do high quality work in a timely manner no matter where I was located.

Second, I wanted it to be so successful, that they would not view me as an "exception" and open the opportunity to my coworkers.  I heard murmurings about people being frustrated that I was given this opportunity when they were not, and I viewed myself as a guinea pig.  Maybe if I was really successful, then they would allow others do to the same.  (In turn, this would ultimately help me by allowing me to extend the arrangment beyond the school year.)



While I was in the office, I did my best to shine and show that I was a fully participating member of our team.  I also did my best to be flexible with my schedule.  I would offer to switch my "at-home" days if there was an important meeting to attend.  When meetings ran long, I smiled, gritted my cheeks, and tried not to think about how desperately I needed to sneak away to use my pump.  (Remember, I had an infant at home!)



Despite all of this, it was decided that I could not continue to work from home.



Major bummer.



The reason?  My direct superior said it was just "not working."  When pressed on the issue, she said that I did everything fine and there was no problems with my work, but that she was feeling resentment and an extra burden when I was not in the office.    I wanted to say about a million things back, like Why didn't you share the workload better, then?  Why don't you request to have this arrangement, too?  I never said I wanted to be the only one doing it!  And on and on and on...

Instead, I politely nodded and made some suggestions about how it might work better.  But I was shut down.

Well, at least I can say that I tried...



In the meantime, I had expected this to happen.  About mid-way through my working-from-home stint, I suspected that they would not extend the offer, regardless of how I performed.  So, I made alternate plans.


I got a job as an online teacher.

 

 

 

At first, I only worked as a contractor for about 10 hours per week.  So, from February 2012-June 2012, I was working over 50 hours each week, commuting 2 hours each day when I went to the office, somehow managing to keep up with pumping and nursing, and keep the house one notch above total disrepair.  I was exhausted.  I got up at 4:30am to grade papers before starting the "real" day.  Then I stayed up late to finish anything I didn't get done earlier in the day.  I was running on fumes.



But I knew it couldn't last forever.




This was only a season in my life.  And I can handle anything for a season, right?




That's what I would tell myself.




Every day.



I knew that God had a plan for me, that this was part of it, and that eventually I would understand where it was all headed.


I finished my full-time job at the end of June 2012.  They wanted to keep me on as a free-lancer, but they couldn't give me any details about what that would really mean.  I didn't know what kinds of projects I would get, when I would get them, or how much I would get paid.


I had no idea how we were going to pay our mortgage the next month.  We had some money in savings, but we didn't want to dip into that too much.



A few weeks earlier, I had been bumped to a 0.25 FTE position as an online teacher (instead of a contractor).  The benefits of that were a steady salary, rather than being paid per student and course.  The amount I earned didn't change, but I was assured money if my enrollments dropped during the summer months.

When I knew that my full-time job was ending, I started dropping more and more hints to my online supervisors and colleagues that I was interested in increasing my status to full-time.  Some teachers had been stuck at 0.25 FTE for years without getting bumped up, so I didn't know if it would really happen.



But I prayed.



Hard.



For something, anything.



And God provided.



Within two weeks, I was bumped up to 0.75 FTE as an online teacher.  I also received my first freelance project.  Together, they would earn me roughly the equivalent of my full-time salary!

I was on vacation in Texas when I got the news, and I'm pretty sure my neighbors in Minnesota heard my squeel of delight.



Since then, I have been doing roughly the same thing: working steadily as a 0.75 FTE online teacher and balancing it out with freelance projects from my former employer.  Sometimes it is crazy, but I am confident that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, which brings me great joy.




With our next baby due in a few months, I have been feeling anxious about how I will keep up with all of this.  I have a schedule and routine with my toddler, but how will this work with an infant, too?  Then, I think about the year after that...I will have TWO toddlers (ages 1 and 3).  How's THAT going to work???






I have no idea.



But I don't have to.



I heard someone talking on the radio yesterday about how there is no grace in hypothetical situations, only what is happening today.  So, it isn't worth worrying about.



I know it will all work out just how it is supposed. to.