Tuesday, February 26, 2013

My Story

I did not set out to be a work-at-home mom.  I totally saw myself as a working mom who wore black slacks and cardigans every day, packed lunches in the morning, and headed out the door by 7am.

By the time I coasted into my third trimester of pregnancy, I had registered for a spot at a home daycare near where we lived.  The daycare provider had been working with kids for over 20 years, seemed great, had a clean home, and was super friendly.  I even did my due diligence and checked her record with the local licensing agency.  Clean as a whistle.

Whenever I felt weepy about the idea of leaving my baby with someone else, I reminded myself that it was probably just pregnancy hormones, that I had gone to a daycare as a child and turned out fine, and that it would all be okay.  As I basked in the glow of my first pregnancy, I did not know that God had a whole different plan in mind...







On July 10, 2011 my son Max was born.








My heart skipped a beat.







I fell in love.







I soaked up every minute of my maternity leave, expecting that I would rarely be able to spend so much time in my life just staring at that baby soft skin and those beautiful blue eyes.

During the last weeks before I was scheduled to return to my full time job, I would cry and laugh when Max has his "happy baby time" every morning.  We would smile and giggle at each other, but I knew--or thought I knew--that those days were numbered.  Soon, I would be spending that time sitting meetings or staring at a computer screen.  Someone else would laugh and giggle with him.


Excuse me while I choke up a bit at that memory.


Two days before my maternity leave ended I received a call that would change our lives dramatically.

At 10:37am on a Thursday morning, our daycare lady called to tell me she had had a family emergency.  She would not be able to take Max for more than two days a week.


I was going back to work five days a week, starting Monday.


Oh goody.


I had experienced the nightmare of finding good childcare already.  I did that before, when I was pregnant, like I was supposed to.  I had spent weeks interviewing daycare providers and taking tours of centers.  Now, I had a day and a half to figure something out.

While my heart reeled at the "injustice" of it all...I had done everything right, hadn't I?  How could this happen to me?  It was all planned out...

My heart also ached for whatever family emergency had arisen to warrant such a dramatic decision by the daycare provider.

Instead of spending those last days staring at my baby boy, I frantically called every daycare provider in the area to set up interviews and tours.

For a few weeks, family and friends offered to watch Max while I worked.  I was astounded at the outpouring of support we received.  It was not an easy time for me, and having people offer to open up their homes and rearrange their schedules to help out was a true blessing.  The next several weeks were a blur or scheduling babysitters, calling and visiting potential providers, and adjusting to a full-time work schedule again.

I called and visited countless daycares.  If you've never looked for childcare for an infant, let me tell you this: it is hard.  Really hard.  First, because of limits on the number of kids they can have, it is hard to even find a daycare facility with an infant opening, let alone an opening immediately.  Most places book months in advance.  If you find somewhere with an opening, it is even harder to determine if it will be a good fit for your baby.  I mean, c'mon, a 3-month old can't exactly tell you that Miss Judy Schmoozy spent the entire day watching Days of our Lives while he cried his lungs out in a pack-n-play in the upstairs closet.  There are things to look for, but a lot of it is trusting your gut.  And listening to people.  When I called the county licensing agency about one provider, she asked me if I had visited the lady's home yet.  When I told her I hadn't, she told me--in as nice and professional a way as possible--that the home was not particularly tidy.  In fact, I'm pretty sure she used the term "garbage house" to describe it.  Wonderful.  Cross that one off the list.

Finally, after a few weeks, everything seemed to converge.  We interviewed a phenomenal daycare provider, who both my husband and I fell in love with.  After meeting with her, we couldn't imagine sending our little guy anywhere else.  There was a catch, though.  Her rates were non-negotiable and twice as much as most other providers.  Awesome.

Meanwhile, the outpouring of support we'd received at the beginning of this ordeal had dwindled a bit, which is understandable.  It had been 3 weeks of pinch-hitting babysitters, and everyone was ready to be back in a normal routine.

While all of this was happening, my husband and I were racking our brains trying to solve this problem.  If we couldn't find a good daycare to fit our schedule, then maybe our schedule needed to change.  Since it was financially wise that we both work, we explored the possibility of me finding a different job and working nights and weekends.  We also explored the idea of me working from home.

With little hope of that working out, I pitched the idea to my employer.  I started out by asking to work from home three or more days per week. I also asked if working part-time would be an option.  I was met with blank stares in astonishment.  And a solid assurance that part-time was not an option.  They had just laid off every part-time employee and had no intention of opening that door to anyone else.

But I had prepared for this.  I did some research and put together a proposal of my request along with statistics and anecdotes about how "telecommuting" had benefited other companies.  In all of it, I took the angle of benefitting the company, not me personally.



They didn't say no. 


But they didn't say yes.


As with most corporate jobs, my supervisor had to talk with his supervisor who had to email so-and-so who had to consult with HR, blah blah blah.  Well, this process didn't work very well for me and my increasingly urgent need for a permanent solution.  By this point, I was leaving my son with acquaintences that seemed friendly and trustworthy but whom I barely new.  Things were getting desperate.


Well, you know what they say about desperate times...


After four weeks of not getting a solid answer about my proposal, I took a huge risk.  I wrote a letter of resignation, effective in nine days.  Not only was I going to give my supervisor an ultimatum, but I was giving less than two weeks' notice AND I would have to email it to him while he was at a conference at our company's headquarters in another country.  Yes, I was that desperate.


Quite certain that I was committing career-suicide, I prepared to pack up my desk and head to the local Aldi, where I would buy some generic pasta, ketchup, and peanut butter to eat for the foreseeable future.




But God works in amazing ways.




They approved my request to work at home.



Sort of.



They would allow me to work from home for 6 weeks.


I said, How about 8 months?



They offered 1 day per week.


I said, How about 2 days one week and 3 days the next? (splitting my time 50/50 at home and in the office.)


They said, Okay.



When does this start? I asked.

Immediately, they said.



I almost fell off my chair.




And that is how it all began...






Want to know more?  Read My Story: Part 2.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Highlights and Lowlights

Every day, I like to think about the "highlights" and "lowlights" of my day.  It helps me to put things into perspective.  Here's an example:

Today's "highlight" was when Max snuggled up while I sang him a lullabye before bed.  I love how he wiggles until he finds just the right spot to rest his head on my shoulder.

Today's "lowlight" was when I snapped at my husband without waiting to hear his side of the story.  I rushed to judgement and quickly realized that God is right when he says: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.  I was none of these.

I thought I would take a moment to share with you my "highlights" and "lowlights" of working from home.

 

Highlights of Working from Home

  1. I do not have a commute.
    Seriously.  This cannot be stressed enough.  I live in Minnesota, where snow is common and "snow days" are not.  In other words, all of those states that basically shut down when a snowflake crosses an upper layer of the atmosphere can just take a backseat for a moment.  When it snows 8 inches overnight, schools do not even close here.  I'm not kidding.  Maybe they do in outlying areas, but not in the metro.  This wreaks havoc on the life of a commuter.  Even if there is a "dusting" of snow, a 45 minute commute turns into a grueling two and a half hour drive that moves at a pace that would make even your grandmother impatient.  In the past week, there have been several minor snowfalls (READ: 2-ish inches) that have fallen during rush hour.  Each and every time this happens, I am thankful that I get to actually be home for dinner and not sitting on a freeway somewhere.
  2. I get to wear sweatpants every day.
    I really, really love sweatpants.  So do you.  Just admit it.  Enough said.
  3. I get to be there when my son wakes up and goes to bed.
    Those are some of my favorite times.  I love how he is all happy and energetic first thing in the morning.  I love that sometimes we throw a blanket on the floor and have a "picnic breakfast."  I love how he wants me to read bible stories to him during breakfast.  I love how he chooses book after book before naptime.  I even love when he is whiny and crabby after he wakes up from a nap.  I love the challenge of moving at just the right pace and finding just the right things to do to help him ease out of that naptime funk.  These are things that I would either not get to do or would have to rush through if I worked outside the home.
  4. I get to have my own office
    Not everyone who works from home is able to have a separate office room, but I think it is CRITICAL to have at least a dedicated space for work.  One of our spare bedrooms doubles as my office and Max's playroom.  I love that I get this space.  I have shared many classrooms and cubicles, and it is really nice to have four walls and big window that are mine.  My office isn't really anything special.  It's not decorated super cute or set up with a fancy desk, but I love it.  (And if Pinterest has anything to say about it, one day it will be perfectly organized, color-coordinated, and kid-friendly.)
  5. I get to set my own hours.
    Again, not everyone who works from home has this luxury, but I am thankful that I do.  Most weeks, I have at least one scheduled meeting, which I need to schedule around, but other than that I mostly get to set my own hours.  As long as I get my work done, nobody cares when it happens.  Although, tomorrow I will be calling about 80 students, and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't appreciate their phones ringing at 6am.  :)
  6. I get to spend more time with my family.
    As mentioned earlier, I used to commute 45 minutes one way every day.  And that was on a good day.  Some days--even without snow--it was more like an hour.  If you add that up, it's almost 8 hours of driving time each week that I don't have to do anymore.  All of that time can now be spent driving toy cars with my son or cleaning up the house so that after bedtime I can actually spend a few minutes with my hubby.

Lowlights of Working from Home


  1. I struggle to walk the line between being a "good mom" and a "good worker."
    Sometimes I want to shut my computer and play with my son without distractions.  Sometimes I want to shut the door and leave my son out of the room so that I can work without distractions.  It's hard to juggle both.
  2. I miss having "real" co-workers.My fellow online teachers seem great, at least in our emails and Facebook group.  But I will never have the same kind of relationship with them as I did with those people that I sat next to for 40+ hours each week.  We don't share jokes the same way or give each other knowing glances during yet another ridiculous meeting.  We don't grab a sandwich for lunch or a quick coffee during a tough morning.  And my cats just don't have the same satisfying reaction when I groan after seeing the long list of assignments in my grading queue.
  3. I don't get "dressed up" very often.
    No, really.  I know this sounds conceited, and I never thought I would feel this way.  BUT sometimes I actually miss putting on my gray slacks and sassy-yet-sensible heels with the stereotypical cardigan that every 20- or 30-something wears to the office.  Those clothes made me feel good, like a professional.  And then I remember how uncomfortable those slacks were and how much I love my sweatpants...
  4. I have to clean up after every meal.
    Again, it sounds stupid, but that is my least favorite thing to do.  The sticky hands and dirty high chair.  The constant loading and unloading of the dishwasher.  I wish Rosie the Robot would just take care of it all for me.
Whenever the "lowlights" start to wear me down, I remember the highlights and all of the blessings and opportunities working from home affords me.  I like that I get to have a foot in both the world of a working mom and the world of a stay-at home mom.  I feel like part of me can relate to both of these situations.  And I like that I get to work, practice my skills and talents, make some money, and take care of my family all at the same time.  It's a pretty sweet gig.  But don't get me wrong--it sure ain't perfect.  No matter what you do for work or what your family life is like, there are always highlights and lowlights.  What highlights help you get through the lowlights of life?

Love,
Lisa

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

A Treat for Myself

Last week I finished a big freelance project I have been working on, so my schedule is a little bit more free this week.  (Cue the music!)

Yesterday, my online students seemed to decide that they deserved an extra long weekend, and I had only 8 assignments and quizzes to grade.  That's a new low record!  I have about 150 students, and I usually grade MUCH MUCH more than that each day.

During my 18-month old's naptime, I was a little stunned at the emptiness in my gradebook.  With no freelance gigs in the works, I was a little bit lost with myself.  What am I going to do for the next two hours?!

For about 2.5 seconds I considered doing some of the extra organizing, cleaning, and maintenance tasks I push to the side, both in my home and my virtual classroom.

But with all the enthusiasm of a kid on a snow day, I shouted FREE DAY!!!

Sledding into a world of awesome

(Okay, fact check: I didn't really shout.  C'mon, it was naptime!  But I did think it very enthusiastically.)

I grabbed my bible and spent some time reading, took a nap, and woke up in time to check my gradebook again.  Still empty.  (As a teacher, I was a bit worried about the lack of progress my students were making.  As a person, I was thrilled with the lack of work to do.  See!  Teachers are people, too!)  With a few minutes to go before naptime was over, I cracked open one of the last boxes of Girl Scout cookies hiding in our freezer, and cozied up with a parenting magazine that came in the mail.  Ironically, one of the articles was about taking time, especially during naps, to do something that re-energizes you.  Ha!  Here I was, actually doing that!

I know that yesterday was a special treat.  As a full-time WAHM, naps are usually spent furiously writing, grading, and responding to emails.  But I realized something important.  Even though most of those times are spent working, I still sneak in little ways to re-energize myself.

Here are a few things that I do to re-boost my energy when I have those few precious moments:
grab a quick snack that I don't have to share
(Hey, I'm also 5 months pregnant. What do you expect?)
turn the radio to something other than my children's stations on Pandora
take a few minutes to fix my hair or makeup, even if I don't plan to leave the house
organize my desk for a few minutes
pick up the toys scattered around the floor
watch 10 minutes of TLC or CNN

Your list might be totally different.  God made each of us unique, and what re-boosts me might exhaust (or bore) someone else.  But I encourage you to find something to fill up your gas tank so that you can keep going when naptime--or Sesame Street--or time out--is over.

Keep on truckin',
Lisa